Are you a caregiver?
Caregivers include the people who provide hands-on personal care and supervision, as well as those who provide support with tasks which an individual cannot or chooses not to complete independently, such as scheduling appointments, financial management, or household repairs.
Caregiving tasks often fall on the family member who lives closest to the individual needing care. Family tensions sometimes can develop toward those who live farther away and are perceived as unable to participate.
Those living farther away may develop feelings of guilt or anxiety when they want to provide assistance, but aren’t sure what to do. Successful sharing of caregiving responsibilities between local and distant caregivers is possible, and can help reduce stress within the family.
The first step to long distance caregiving is an understanding of the individual’s situation and needs. Schedule a visit with the individual which spans several days to observe how the person makes decisions, solves problems and completes daily tasks. The roles of any other caregivers are also important to comprehend. Many needs and malfunctions can be hidden by the individual during a short visit, but the observation of overall daily functioning for several days in a row may reveal significant differences from verbal reports the individual might provide.
Speaking with other family members, neighbors and friends about their observations of and communications with the individual also can help provide a more complete picture of reality. Researching the individual’s medical diagnoses and medications will promote an understanding of how chronic conditions and their treatments may affect the current and future level of functioning of an individual.
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If another person is already providing assistance to the affected individual, speak with this caregiver and find out if additional help is needed or wanted, and what specific tasks are open for negotiation.
Good intentions can create bad feelings, and misunderstandings easily can occur when someone who desires to “help” makes assumptions about the caregiver or recipient of care.
Some suggestions as to what types of assistance a long-distance caregiver can contribute:
- Emotional support for the care recipient is valuable. A routine telephone call to the individual can help promote social engagement and a sense of connection despite physical distance.
- Emotional support for the caregiver is vital. Regular contact with the caregiver reinforces your interest in the situation and allows an opportunity for the caregiver to vent frustrations, share successes and ask for assistance to problem-solve. Remember to express appreciation routinely and offer reassurance when needed. Avoid “second-guessing” the primary caregiver.
- Coordinate visits so you can attend important appointments or so the primary caregiver can take time off for vacation or personal needs.
- Financial management is an activity which can be handled regardless of physical proximity. A long-distance caregiver can arrange and monitor online bill payments, manage banking and insurance needs, complete tax returns and more.
- Online research of medical issues, identification of local resources for the individual and caregiver, checking equipment needs, comparing costs for professional care (if needed), and investigating types and eligibility requirements of various public benefit programs are examples of assistance that may be helpful as a way to share caregiving tasks.
- Communication coordination can be provided from a distance. Do numerous family members and friends desire regular updates? Being the main point of contact can help prevent a primary caregiver from having to repeat the same information multiple times when a change in condition occurs.
The National Institute on Aging has numerous publications which contain valuable information for both local and long distance caregivers. Visit www.nia.nih.gov and click on “Health & Aging” and “Publications.”
Whether you are just beginning or are a seasoned caregiver, the complexity of caregiving can be overwhelming. These free resources can help families understand the emotions and practical issues of caregiving, thereby enhancing the provision of care.
Now is an opportune time to consider these issues. As people gather together to celebrate the upcoming holidays, take advantage of this time to discuss current and future caregiving needs in your family, and reduce the chances of a caregiving crisis in the new year.
This article has been reprinted from an earlier Sentinel edition in recognition of November being National Family Caregivers Month.
Learn more about the article’s author, and other community education opportunities, at www.keystoneelderlaw.com. Check out the book, “Long Term Care Guide: Essential Tools for Solving the Elder Care Puzzle,” at the Whistlestop Bookshop or Amazon, and see Keystone’s free directory of services for older adults at www.mypeaceguide.com. Keystone Elder Law has offices in Mechanicsburg and Carlisle. Call 717-697-3223 for a free telephone consultation.